I am a mother. Yes, a mother of a husband and dog. No, I am a wife and a dog owner. I’m the food wench.
The difficulties lie in degrees. If my husband is deeply snoring, I cannot sleep. I go and lie on the sofa with a blanket. When he stops snoring I can try to go back to bed. My first thought is that he is not breathing, so I check. Fifteen years ago I could control and monitor his breathing. Now, as he’s gone much of the time for business he doesn’t care about breathing, even farting, because he’s in a hotel by himself.
Every day I don’t see him is not a life. Fifteen years ago last week we had our first date. Anthony Hopkins’ Hearts in Atlantis, and Mexican food.
When I can’t hear him I’m right there and know that he is alive and breathing and I can take a breath as well.
Same with our old dog Zoe. Sometimes I wonder if she is breathing after I’ve lifted her up to our bed. I place my hand on her chest and know she’s OK for now.
Now he’s on a business trip and Zoe wants to get put back up to bed. She checks on me as well. I miss his company and snoring. I love to see Zoe awaken in REM sleep to chase squirrels. Life is all around us. Enjoy it. Dee
ps Gotta go. Zoe needs Otis (me) the elevator person to get her back to bed after she jumped down to make sure I was breathing. I was writing, little one! I can write and breathe at the same time. She’s back up, Otis’ed, so I must go. When I can not hear my husband snoring, I miss him. D