Control

It’s early, I’m up for a couple of hours while awaiting sunrise, husband finally home and snoring, dog underneath my side of the bed for dark so she can get her beauty sleep before the sun comes into the windows. Routine, I have become a herder! Perhaps I was always a herder.

When we married I didn’t sense any control issues, few now. It is external forces at work. I have the bank accounts. I pay the bills. Utilities, even the bank says they will not do what I ask without my husband’s permission. Excuse me???

Yesterday I was stuck in a hot elevator alone for an hour before someone opened the doors and offered to close them to bring me up four feet. Believe me, having no control over your life stuck in a hot box brings you to say “no one is going to shut this door on me again.”

Stuck in an elevator. Four feet up and ten feet from home I could see my home and imagine our dog Zoe worrying about me (she sat at my feet for 1/2 hour afterwards) and my husband on a plane home from work.

My control issues are not with my husband or our families, they are with outside parties who do not acknowledge my existence in order for me to conduct normal business. I am currently shopping for banks and health insurance companies who do their jobs and deal with my infrequent questions as if I am an adult and do not need parental or spousal approval.

We’re going on a trip this fall to celebrate my father’s 85th birthday. I am the eldest child which might suggest my age, not a kid. My father does not treat me as a child, nor should my bank, electric company, cable company, water & sewer. They all had me get my husband on the phone to give me permission to contact them when they were my accounts! Now they’re reverting to bad past practices.

I am getting older and it takes ten times longer to return something to Amazon than it should. That is time that could be spent in more industrious efforts and time that is taken from my life. At least my husband got me decent headphones so I can work around the house while being on hold to awful music.

Muzak should be outlawed. In terms of control, I would like every customer service agent and corporate executive to call in to their own business and listen for 20-45 minutes to wait for a human to answer the phone. That is their assignment for the day.

Enjoy your weekend. My loves will sleep until they awake and I envy them that opportunity, I was lucky to sleep until nearly 4:00 a.m. I will make breakfast or lunch, we’ll run a few short errands and hang out.

Folks ask me what we’re doing for fun this weekend and my husband is so tired from a long work week in two cities and nine hours getting home that I just say, “hanging out.” He has another nine hours getting back before dawn on Monday so he deserves the rest. I love that he wants to come home on the weekends. Control? In certain situations, yes. There is a caveat for this weekend. No getting stuck in an elevator. Cheers! Dee

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