It’s funny how things change when we marry. I’ve written about the falsity of bridal magazines showing everything as laying on a sofa together on a weekend reading the papers and doing a crossword puzzle, and that’s not ever going to happen in real life. Sorry, brides, congrats husbands being out playing ball.

A friend’s wife is on an educational mission out of country. My husband was away for seven months and now is home every weekend. As Old Married People we’re allowed to say we miss our spouses when chatting for a moment or two. I spent some time thinking of a gift he could bring his wife. My husband is home more often recently so he craves my homemade food.

This thirty hours he spent sleeping and working on his computer installing a new hard drive et al because work doesn’t hand him a laptop when he walks in the door and take it back when he walks out. He has to use his own and give money to big companies who may not pay his salary or expenses.

I drove my husband to the airport, after making him the best spaghetti and meatballs he ever had, even met G the Swede’s test because I roughed up a huge Challah roll into crumbs in the food processor and then soaked that in milk. G, our neighbor, taught me Swedish meatballs and I’ll make them for him for my final exam but I’ve already aced it so he’ll be learning Texas Chili this weekend and it’ll be fun. Then he gets his final exam when he has to make it for us.

Oh, after spending all weekend on his computer components and downloads even at 4:00 this morning my husband finished whatever downloads he needed, later he placed his suiter bag and laptop backpack next to each other in the back of my SUV. I dropped him off at the airport. He called me as I was on overpasses with closed ramps under construction right by the city. “Oh, I forgot my laptop bag.” So I finally found a place to turn around and went to the airport twice.

It’s different than NYC. You can live in a building and know some neighbors and others from walking the dog. Still, some folks, when they hear your key in your door, close the elevator anyway. I always ask if anyone’s there and hold the door.

My husband tries to always hold any door open for me in any way. Things happen when you’re married, like kids. Unfortunately not kids for us. We have had a wonderful dog for over 11 years, however. Neighborhood mascot? Perhaps.

I never looked for a husband. We found each other. Fate? I don’t know. I can’t tell you how different it is from when you’re a teen to perhaps college to engaged and married. We eloped, older. Still met all the parents cross-country beforehand and believe we’re in good graces with all.

Kindness plays a part. Slings and arrows will come no matter what one does in life. Let all but the worst go by and address the latter. This includes the work and other frustrations you bring home every day. Vent and get over with. Have a great dinner together and watch an old movie, take the dog out and go to bed.

Clubbing? What is that? I’ve never heard of it. I have a club/pack of my own, thank you. I have a husband who forgets his laptop. Dee


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