Clarity

I don’t actually see things. I just know our path when it’s right. Right now I know what we are supposed to leave in our wake but am still confused as to our future. My lack of clarity, argued and won by my significant other, has caused stress in the past.

Around 12:25 a.m. my husband showed up. He’s been away for over four months on a job, visiting for only 30 hours over Labor Day weekend. January will mark 12 years of marriage.

Building blocks. Perhaps I’ve an inner architect. I can tell you that a young organizer helped me motor through a few boxes and turn Boxlandia into a Tuscan Retreat just yesterday. We’re on a time warp here so Zoe and I got up at what would be 4:30 a.m. his time. He’s back asleep.

I’m hoping that the clues he gives me during his brief stay will bring us together and make his requested spaghetti and meat balls even better. I’m making the meatballs Swedish-style Kottbullar but using fresh bread crumbs in milk, then 1/2 pork and 1/2 beef plus onions and garlic. Yes, neighbor G direct from Sweden taught me how to make meatballs, the softest and tastiest I’ve ever had. Now I’ve a final exam to take. Perhaps I’ll give him a meatball from tonight’s dinner. If I pass, he has to learn to make real Pedernales Texas chili. Then G will take my final chili exam. Remember, there are no beans in Texas chili.

Neighbors are wonderful. One is a retired architect who always has a flower theme, very avant garde. He drew us a welcome sign to place outside the door to greet my husband. when he arrived early this morning.

Keeping quiet in our home is difficult as I want to cook and do dishes and the dog wants to tag team us so no-one leaves her. Herding instincts. So I’m writing and don’t think he can hear the keys tick behind a closed door. I didn’t really figure in the time difference but as he’s on his way from central to eastern I should get him used to it. perhaps noon.

Sorry to say I’m starting a Honey-Do list. Don’t worry, it’ll only take 1/2 hour.

Right now I don’t want to make noise. Zoe is on the bed sleeping, with the door open so she can come out to see me. He’s been gone for a long time so she doesn’t know if he’s staying. He is not. I will drive his car 1,200 miles to Thanksgiving and he will take it another 1,500 miles to save on a thousand dollars a month in rental cars.

The future will be in my heart and mind soon. Right now I have to make meatballs. Also what someone calls “corn quiche” which is a corn custard with chorizo and mushrooms.” Google it.

I was single for a long time. Being single again while being married for nearly 12 years is not something we wish to continue. I can’t walk down the street with our dog, holding hands, through a phone call or email. Let us look forward to good times and good food. Cheers! Dee

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