How Do You Know?

I see Amy Adams singing and dancing through Central Park asking that question. For real people, it doesn’t come that easily.

In a serious relationship, I was supposed to marry two weeks after college graduation. I called it off because I needed to know myself and be able to fend for myself before I could attach myself permanently to someone else.

Bridal magazines show couples snuggling on a sofa reading the newspaper or doing a crossword puzzle together. That’s not how it works. It looks pretty in photos but that is not life.

Life is having the occasional disagreement, surprising one another every once in a while (we don’t do birthdays or holidays, especially the Hallmark Valentines Day).

Life is walking the dog. Walking on ice and holding his arm. In the summer just knowing when to hold hands without even looking at each other.

In our first week of dating my husband challenged me in terms of what I wanted in a relationship. I said I never wanted an engagement ring because that’s not fair. Also that a relationship is about a marriage, not a wedding.

We eloped a year later. I planned it in five days and we found a secret, illegal venue 24 hours before the event. I got two 18K gold rings on the internet and rented a dress and tiara.

It’s more than watching Star Wars IV on tv, when we walk we both know when I need to take his arm or hold his hand and it comes instinctively. We don’t look, or ask, we just know. Let’s hope other brides and grooms aspire to this level of closeness. Cheers and happy couples all! Dee

ps Dee, should I (put on the humidifier, walk the dog, turn over the steaks), yes, dear, without even knowing the substance of the sentence verbally I know it.


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