Yes, I failed my sewing badge at age eight, and my “leader” called all the girls over to laugh at my handiwork. A couple of months later I did well selling cookies, but they don’t let the girls go door-to-door in this day and age.
What was missing? I’m a really good cook but when we went camping and were told to bring a bar of soap and soap our pans I soaped the inside, thinking that we were making sure the pans were clean before we cooked our hot dogs. Once again, our leader pointed out my error (not an error at all in my book, today) and had all the other girls come over and laugh at how stupid I was. Four months was enough to know this wasn’t a positive educational experience.
Leadership was missing. I’ve taken those lessons, turned them around and used them to lead volunteers and non-profit organizations. I look for strengths and encourage them, and correct mistakes without making the person look dumb.
My husband was a geek from day one, turned out to be a gifted physicist and software engineer and leader. And I also give him good scores on EQ (emotional intelligence quotient) most of the time which means he’s not a nerd always.
The difference is that he’s always called my soc/psych and consulting skills “soft skills” whereas physics and math are hard skills. It turns out we’re doing similar things as he has moved out of hard-core coding the past few years. He’s developing and moving serious software through to production, and doing it by hiring people and honing their skills, teaching automated test-driven development to make a product that will be bug-free and last for years.
Many years ago I developed volunteers and we spayed and neutered over 2,000 feral cats in southern California. We took our dog in for her shots the other day and were talking about needed treatments. I told her that if I found a cat on the grooming table with tapeworms I’d take it back to the OR and recorder to order Droncit as this cat was smart enough not to be trapped twice so responding to every present medical issue was essential. For the first few months they’d question me and I’d say “little grains of rice that move” and after that they trusted me but had to record it. Then I’d take it to ICU, a SUV where fluids and flea and other treatments were dispensed and we’d watch all the cats in their crates until they awakened from anesthesia.
I even invented the Dee’s Kitty Wake-Up List that helps the breathers document their health. It’s still in place, renovated and after over 10 years no longer attributed to me. That’s a good thing.
Honesty and persistence, and no less than quality work given the client, company and staff. That’s the only way to go. We’re problem solvers who would drive each other nuts if we worked together all day long.
I knew the first time my husband opened the car door for me and took my hand that we’d be together forever and as I’ve gotten to know him over the years I know that he doesn’t compromise on honesty, persistence, quality work and leadership. Luckily we agree on all those principles.
So, it doesn’t matter that I don’t sew, but I do cook and keep everything clean and can probably thank the scout “leader” who did everything in her power to ridicule me, plus some great teachers and parents to allow me to look back on this humiliation with wisdom and not anger. And if I had money and a foundation to give money, certain organizations that do great work on a shoestring budget and use volunteers wisely and make a difference would be first on my list. Cheers, Dee
