Author Archives: pawsinsd

I AM Glee Club

I just started watching Glee and see who I really wanted to be in high school. Yes, I was in choir and led the gymnastics team but if we had such a club, if I had the guts I’d have been in it.

Not that I’m competitive, more of a team-builder but they have to be off the charts and so talented because they’re tv professionals.

The words to all the songs are familiar to me, like family, well, not. When I hear an intro I know from my great prof in American Musical History what song it pairs with. Please do Someone To Watch Over Me.

Ballet, violin, piano, guitar, choir. Did they help in my adult life? YEA! I grew up when the arts were there in public school and am still in touch with my grade school music teacher where we sang The Happy Wanderer.

Another teacher who is gone now called me in after school (first and only time in my life) and asked why I didn’t audition for solos. She tested me, told me I have perfect pitch and gave me the lead on Bridge Over Troubled Waters.

And my violin teacher needs her space here, she took me on at age 6, my father is a violinist. So do my guitar teachers, a Mormon then a drummer. Yeah, I took that up at age 50. But even after not picking it up in 18 months I can lay in bed and not look at it and have lyrics bring the music up and I just make up the chords.

There’s no talent talking here, just that if I would have had a Glee Club in high school my voice may have been heard. But then I wouldn’t have had my career or met my husband or gotten our dog. We make choices.

Here’s to my, our (husband is physics/software) fellow geeks everywhere! I’m with you, always. Dee

An Institutional Vision

Sometimes the sins of the father are passed along… to me.  After of decades of not speaking up, I have followed in my father’s footsteps.

I create change. I am hired to do it and get beat up, metaphorically, every time I do it. It is exhausting work. Sometimes I do it for free.

People hire me to create change, but they don’t want it. This stasis is what brings companies and non-profits down. If all you get is grant money from the government or agencies on a contract basis, you can never change for the better.

For companies, how can you do your jobs better and easier due to technology and management mindsets? For non-profits, many are still using old methodologies to do everything from management to tech to fund raising. You’re probably still using my recycled 386 and are on dial-up.

It’s the thinking that is flawed. We’ve always done it this way. That’s the way it’s done. They won’t let us do this. We like the little box we’ve let ourselves be placed in.

Jump, leap out of that box and think of new solutions that exemplify your organization’s mission and vision. If that mission and vision are no longer viable, sound a call for change.

Many folks just want to keep a job and hate to get up in the morning to go to it. YOU can make a difference. Think about how you’d like to be treated and treat others that way. If your job doesn’t let you do that, sound an alarm. Make a change. Make a difference in just one person’s life. Don’t be institutionalized. This is my motivational speech for the day. Cheers! Dee

I Miss Y’All

Happy belated Mothers’ Day first and foremost. My mom and grandmothers are gone but to M and Nanny, thank you for all you’ve done for the kids.

We miss our families and friends as we’re in a new city with new people but some are breaking down barriers to get us all together.

We had a lovely dinner last night, out by the terrace grill area. We brought steak with chimichurri, and others brought chicken tikka masala kebabs, salads, guacamole, salsa, and here’s the kicker.

There’s a date set for the next get-together, and the challenge is to do a wine tasting from all the countries we picked from a hat. One white, one red, one dish.

Let’s hope we’ve moved and have enough for me to work with. Oh, I picked Greece. No, you guys don’t need to know what I’m planning to buy or cook! Shame on you for peeking!

Everyone did a great job at our dinner. We have some very talented cooks out there and hope this doesn’t become a competition, just a companion-oriented event. Cheers! Dee

ps To Israel, I’ve some Israeli couscous you can have for a salad, if you’d like. d

The Job Jar

When I was eight my parents instituted a “job jar” for my younger sister and me. It was a Chock Full of Nuts coffee can with eight pieces of paper in it, folded. Each Saturday morning we took turns taking our four weekend tasks.

Our reward was fifty cents a week allowance, that was basically our reward for being on the planet. Fold diapers. Dust. Vacuum (ugh), weed (ugh). We actually had a country house incinerator put in by the previous owner so burned most of our trash, sorry, carbon footprint supervisors.

The most feared were the ones that said “Ask Mom,” and “Ask Dad.” Getting both was a double whammy because who knew what their projects were that weekend.

Just as I find shortcuts to the grocery store or through town everywhere I live, we were tricky. If one was unlucky enough to get both feared tasks, do Mom’s first. It’ll last 3-4 hours, like weeding her entire garden. Then with sweat on your brow and dirt on your face go see Dad and say “I just weeded the entire garden, what would you like me to do?”

We were little kids! He would say “See that screwdriver over there? Hand it to me. OK, you’re done.” My boyfriends used to call him Old Eagle Eyes. He can have quite a stern demeanor but he’s a softie underneath that Germanic crust.

A job jar may be a good way for a large family to operate. I’m seven years older than my brother and 11 years older than the youngest sister so they couldn’t do chores. We could and this unfinished house was a HUGE project that took us three years.

Alongside the job jar came whatever house project was on deck for that week. Paint the house, we used creosote as that is what was there. That cancer-causing substance is not allowed anymore but we used it. We dragged rocks for weekend after weekend to build a retaining wall.

When the septic tank backed up the plans didn’t show where it was. The former owner who built the place knew the general area but no specifics. So we had our work cut out for us.

One story people love is that my Dad wanted to build a front stoop. It was actually the back door, the one we used, because the front door was twenty feet from a 150′ cliff.  Which we climbed after the first week and Papa got us a solid rope with knots every foot so we wouldn’t get hurt.

So we got several hundred pounds of sand. Portland cement. He said 4x3x3 for the base, then build the step from brick. My father thought he meant three FEET deep. If that house blows away in a tornado the stoop will still be there.

I was the “chef” mixing cement with sand and water in our wheelbarrow, load after load after load. Then we started tossing in rocks and whatever we could. We went to the hardware store several more times for cement and found out what was wrong but it was too late to fix it.

Luckily we had extra sand so built a sandbox with railroad ties to hold in the sand. A year later I was taking horseback riding lessons from our high school neighbor on an unruly pony named Pickles, who would lay his ears back then do something to rattle me, like jump the creek.

It was our final lesson and we went along our back 40 at a walk, then my instructor told me to trot, on the diagonal, alone. He cantered, got to the end of the line and stopped dead in his tracks. I was thrown over his head, and landed in the sandbox and only my pride was hurt. He ran home and my instructors’ parents (he taught at the university) were having a dinner party and they all walked down the 1/4 mile driveway to see who Pickles threw. Was my face red?

I’m a believer that everything happens for a reason. Someone had a load of sand they couldn’t sell, we got it, built the stoop and I didn’t get killed or break any bones. Pickles is long gone now but I haven’t been on a horse since. Cheers! Dee

Bathing Caps at the Beach

When I was 8-10 years old my father went through a phase I like to call “gentleman farmer.” He bought 25 acres about ten miles from town with a view of the Lake (Erie) and decided to tame the “back yard, ” bought a Toro riding mower with a 36″ blade and put my sister and I to work mowing. Yes, I learned how to use a clutch at age eight.

It took five hours to mow, three for the back 40, two closer in so my sister and I traded sections every weekend. Then he decided to put in a pool. Oh, btw the house wasn’t finished so we worked on it every weekend for three years. Retaining walls, laying 3,000 bricks around the pool three years in a row because we used sand and had cold, snowy winters. I used a rudimentary miter box and cut all the window frames and used both hands to use a staple gun to put a drop ceiling in the basement. Now people talk to me about “hands-on” volunteer programs, hello, I’ve been there. And I got fifty cents a week allowance for my efforts!

We were glad of the pool because it cut down our mowing time! Also we could have pool parties for our friends, the guys next door came over every day and we could ask Mom and Dad to go  skinny dipping (just us, not the guys) at night after we each passed our intermediate swim classes at the local University pool.

We took care of that pool, cleaning it, fishing toads out of the filter basket and testing the water. And we had to wear bathing caps because if we didn’t, our hair may clog the filter. We had short hair, and never saw a hair in the filter basket, but in a Teutonic upbringing, those were the rules.

Our first trip to the ocean was to Virginia Beach. We wore dresses for the 14-hour drive, because we had to look nice when we got to the motel. On subsequent trips we negotiated the right to wear matching shorts/shirts until 1/2 hour before arrival, then we’d change in the car.

We get to the beach and it’s beautiful! Mom says “put on your bathing caps!” What? Is our hair going to clog the filter basket? We looked at each other and a plan was in place. Wait ten minutes until parents get bored and know we’re OK, then wait for a big wave, dive down and bury the bathing caps in the sand. It worked! “Yes, we’re OK, only our bathing caps didn’t survive the wave.”

That trip I learned the uncomfortable feel of a cup of sand in my one-piece bathing suit but saw a horseshoe crab and walked on the beach and had a great time. And I never had to wear a bathing cap in a pool or ocean again. Isn’t childhood fantastic?

One more story. My younger sister had her friends over for a pool party for probably her 8th birthday. She knew she had a pool and her friends didn’t so took them all out there. A good rule was that Mom had to be out there or watching us from the kitchen window whenever we were in the water. Mom said “Go.” My sister grabbed books from her room and handed one to each of the girls, all salivating to take the plunge. She said, “read for an hour then you can swim.”

Mom came right out and asked what was going on. She told my sister that she could read her book if she wanted, but the other girls were going swimming. Without bathing caps. Cheers, have an amazing day! Dee

Did She Roll in the Dead ‘Possum Too?

Yes, I gave my dog her bath (bi-weekly) yesterday and she usually needs to go out right after.

Here she is on the leash, playing ball with other dogs (OK I let her off the leash first-time here, won’t tell Animal Control where we live/walk) and all of a sudden this wet dog mess turns on her back and rubs into something.

And another owner says, did she roll in the dead ‘possum, too? I got her out of there asap and on leash and sniffed her and she was fine. Maybe it was just seeing grass for the first time in a couple of months.

Maybe I’m seeing the grass after a few years of laundry, cooking, dog walking and bathing every two weeks. Yes, I have a blog and 50,000 hits doesn’t mean I write badly.

I told someone today that in college it took hours to write a 500 word essay. I had a typewriter back then and was the envy of the dorms. I’ve kept it with us all these years, a first edition 1957 Smith-Corona electric portable that was given to me for high school graduation by my English teacher Aunt.

It’s in its original case in air-conditioned storage 1,500 miles away and I was looking to showcase it. I looked on E-Bay and it goes for $5. This one is priceless and will move across the country with me no matter how many times we traverse it. Perhaps even around the world.

There are many opportunities in this world, whether it be writing a blog or preserving a typewriter or rolling in the grass. Let’s explore them. Dee

 

Big Mistakes

Cooking-wise. First off, if you ever run into my cousin John he’ll tell you I served him raw chicken. I did. The apartment-sized (small) oven browned the chicken then the pilot light went out. I re-lit it, cut up the chicken and sauteed it. That was 30 years ago and he mentions it every time we talk. Whew, glad to get that one off my chest, thanks cuz.

So, every once in a while I make rosti (potato cake) or scalloped potatoes for my husband Jim. We ended up going out so the next morning I made us scrambled eggs. I used half-and-half  that is seldom in the house. The eggs were sweet and I thought I might have put sugar in the salt dish and tasted it, fine.

I find out that the half-and-half says “French Vanilla” on it. When did they start doing that? I tossed it as I can’t use it after tasting those sweet eggs.

Many years ago I was at my godparents home preparing and cooking a boneless (I did that) leg of lamb Robert (Google it with Jacques Pepin) and I blanched some green beans and dressed them too early. I wanted green and crunch and my homemade vinaigrette and by dressing them too early they were grey. Ugh.

Well, that’s the way my grandmother cooked, apparently everything was grey, but dinner went off anyway and there are no stated repercussions.

If we never fail, we can never really succeed. Dee

Dreaming

I’ve an uncanny knack for knowing when something’s “right.” Like my husband, dog…. I’ve found us a place to live and just look at a room (ok, it’s only 1,248 sf for the entire place) and see our furniture in it.

I see furniture we haven’t seen for the past 3-9 years! The black printer stand/night stand will be great in the guest bath to hold TP and towels, and the pink shower curtain with the retro hangers (nine years ago) will look great.

The quilts are another story. The 70′s one created by m-i-l Margie will probably hang in the living room or Jim’s office. The civil war-era hexagonal quilt will probably go over our bed.

Three things need framing: a card thanking Jim for providing balloon animals at a young neighbor’s sleepover birthday party; a photo of the Navy Captain, RIP, who married us; and a postcard from my dad with regards from famed chef Andre Soltner.

Since Jim’s taking the second bedroom as his personal office and guest room, it is incumbent upon me to figure out what to do with a 60″ wide and 43.5″ deep “niche” in the kitchen, called a “tech center.” I need a pantry and office and have one industrial utility cart on wheels to use, plus my 100 year-old English oak gate leg table that can be folded to 36″ square or have the sides pulled out. Plus my comfy office chair, better than the folding chair with two pads I’m sitting at now.

Also, we have a plastic table ($24 at Wal-Mart) that folds up, it is now my desk. I think it will be folded up and taken outside as needed, covered and used for grilling and serving food.

There’s a small area by the front door and I want to get a simple plant stand and bowl to place keys, leash et al. It may also be a home for the carnival lamp m-i-l so hates. Hey, it cost ten bucks and looks great with her quilt, picks up all the colors!

Missing our “stuff” for so many years is one thing, envisioning it with an awesome view of Lake Michigan is another. I looked at each room and could just picture it, a month from now, done and we will have a home with no one else’s family photo on the wall. That’s the goal. Usually my role is to support and “put out fires” but this time, I get to dream and decorate! Cheers, Dee

The Peanut Butter Sandwich

Years ago I consulted for a small non-profit repertory theater. When they first started their actors were making $12 per week for five performances. One actor recommended a change in the script during rehearsals.

He was supposed to consume one peanut butter sandwich on stage and he changed the script to include two peanut butter sandwiches!

Whether the extra was for him or his cast mates/crew remains unknown. Talk about  starving artists! Dee

Signs

Sign, Sign everywhere a sign
Blocking out the scenery breaking my mind
Do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the sign

That was from 1971, Five Man Electrical Band. They’re worse now, but not about long hair.

The rules for our condo/apartment comprise a lengthy lease with rules about dog poop, combined with a printed brochure that encompasses more rules.

We went to a mall restaurant (not food court) for lunch yesterday and they have one huge page, on the opposite side of their map at every entrance, for how kids must behave. They even kick kids out at 5:00 on weekends.

Now, I know that these are only put in place to allow HOA’s, managements to kick people out that they don’t like for violating even one rule (your TV was too loud). It’s all about liability.

Children cannot gather in groups of larger than four. Monitor that.

This leads me to think that management companies have gone over the top with liability issues, and parents have been absent in teaching their children manners.

Whatever failings my childhood family had, we had dinner together every night. We talked about everyone’s day and when I was older, what was news that day. Then we had to ask to be excused from the table to do our homework.

I’ve even taken on some of my husband’s Texas traits. When you need to talk with a company or government agency, add “ma’am” or “sir” to the “thank you” and you’ll get nicer and faster service.

I don’t do this because it makes my life easier, though it does. I respect everyone who vies to make a living wage, if it’s my supermarket checker or TSA agent. That respect is conveyed in how they are treated. And I’ve been treated pretty badly by the TSA in the past! Turns out they were putting me through extended searches so they could smuggle drugs in another line!

Still, parents have to start early. Please and thank you. I’m sorry is a really good one to know. Fork and knife skills, Yes, ma’am, no ma’am. Thank you sir. I appreciate your time with me today. Thank you for the offer, I’ll talk to my husband and get back to you in the morning. Yes, I look forward to starting Monday.

You get my drift. But I did have to walk with the OED on my head for posture, and take ballet, piano and violin. Best wishes to the younger generations, Dee