Monthly Archives: October 2010

Your Servant

You’re upset when I don’t write, I get it. Guess what? Jim and I have a life. People we love were in a horrific car accident the other day and one was life-flighted to a hospital a couple hundred miles away from their home. He needs a titanium insert in his spine and she is by his side every day and night.

So I deserve a couple of days off blogging so my husband and I can deal with this. They’re alive, the seat belts were on, luckily but air bags never deployed. They were on a trip that had been planned for months for their future, and a chance to see new country and meet recently researched family and buy cast iron country sinks for their new home because their old land is being flooded by the government to provide water for a big city.

Everything was looking good except it’s deer season and rutting season and a buck ran out onto the road the other morning and lives were changed. What does that mean? Yes the buck is dead. So is the SUV.

What our family looks like in the future hinges on what happens in the next few days. These are our parents. Please wish them well. Dee

The Lunatic Fringe

I’m no drama queen and have lived quite a solid and some may say, boring life. But some things get my blood boiling. Yesterday morning a neighbor told me she was out with her 30 lb pup and a guy dropped her dog with pepper spray. This dog is a year old and cares for nothing outdoors but her Frisbee. Yes, she was off-leash but had a Frisbee in her mouth and did not get near her attacker.

Then, my friend was talking to the attacker with the year-old pup sitting at her side on leash. The man said he should have used the pepper spray on my friend, then hit the dog with it again. We believe this is a man who lives in the neighborhood who has a history of threatening women and their dogs. He taunts the owner until she puts her hands on him, then they go to court and the woman gets fined.

It’s not funny that this is happening and is strange that what lights this guy’s fire is torturing small animals and the women who walk them until he can provoke a response, then the woman gets punished for responding.

My training comes in leadership and training from some of the best people and friends I’ve ever met. They are gays and lesbians who learned community organization the hard way, by losing their partners and friends, and then using it for other things that required politics to reach their goals, like legalizing what goes on in nearly every park in the country, off-leash dog activity closely monitored by owners and with rules and responsibilities. It’s like a soldier being trained by the Mossad.

So, we’re formulating our plans here with unique circumstances and locale, we believe we already know name and address, have people on the lookout, and will accompany the owner of the attacked dog to the police station and make sure she’s safe. I don’t know the laws here and what legal action we should take but I’ve had bullies stalk me, let air out of my tires, call the police when my car was on the street for 1/2 hour and find a notice saying that it’s a vehicle abandoned for over 72 hours and will be towed. I’ve had people send moles to pretend they’re reporters or dog owners asking questions when their stories were so flimsy I’d just say “I don’t know” or make stuff up.

When my dog died over 40 neighbors and friends paid to put a tree in her favorite park. I was a VP on the Foundation’s board that handled these bequests. The people who hated dogs fought the donation, even though Park supervisors dictated the size, type and placement of tree, which was fine with me. But the haters fought tooth and nail and lost. They need to lose. Anyone who spends their lives hating others and taking it out on people and animals smaller than themselves needs serious help. First, they have to be taken off the streets so they don’t hurt others. Dee

Kids

When I first moved to my place in So Cal with my dog, the parents didn’t like me very much because I walked my dog through the park several times a day. Then they received funding to upgrade the tot lot and it was fenced in for safety because there was rebar everywhere. I told the kids to get out of there because they were going to get hurt. That’s when I met Jesse and his older brother James. They hated me for threatening to call their parents because they were in a dangerous area.

Jesse and James made a scooter with their father, a local real estate broker. They drove it around and got in trouble for it. The new tot lot opened up, time passed and what I used to call the Mommy Nazis came to like my dog. Once I came out at 6:00 a.m. and someone had broken three six-packs of glass beer bottles right by the tot lot. I took the dog home, came back with her and made her sit on a bench while I swept up every shard of glass. For my efforts, I was reprimanded by a staffer for the local city councilman, known as Cruella, for allowing my dog to sit outside the glass on a bench with a leash not held in my hand while I swept so that the toddlers and their moms/nannies wouldn’t have to deal with this mess.

Then everyone liked my dog until we started looking for areas where we could have our dogs chase a ball off-leash, legally. Jesse and James were growing up. One night a new neighbor was working on her car at 3:00 in the morning. The next day her dog got loose and I found him in the park. I put my dog’s leash around his neck and brought him home with my dog, off-leash, right beside me. She screamed at me and told me never to touch her dog again. She was on crystal meth and probably selling it so I steered clear.

Then I saw Jesse and James and some of James’ friends coming out of her condo. They had a new scooter that she had given them. I made them give it back. I told them if I ever saw them near her or her place again I’d call the police, then their parents. They stayed away, liked me now but knew I was parental material. Then they skateboarded down stairways in the neighborhood. A neighbor tried to run them down multiple times. I told them they could skateboard 1/2 hour after school then they had to leave.

When Jesse and James wanted a dog they came to my house and asked what kind of dog to get. I lent them my AKC breed book. Several weeks later who was the first neighbor to see the new pup and receive the book back? Yes, Dee.

They don’t know this but one day I was out in the park stretching and they asked me if I could do a cartwheel. At 35 they thought I was too old to do so. I did one. Olga Korbut and Nadia were my heroines. Then they asked about a split. I was wearing Teva sandals at the time and the grass was wet. I showed them how to stretch to be able to do splits and my foot went out from under me. Believe me, when a guy says he pulled a groin muscle it REALLY hurts. I was literally on ice for two weeks. But I walked calmly home and they didn’t know a thing.

One day my dog insisted on bringing a huge stuffed teddy bear to the park and she delighted all the tot lot kids and all the other dog owners who came out to play. The next day I came home and she was struggling. I got a tile guy to help me lift her into my car and rushed to the vet. Two other dog owners showed up to be with us. My dog had bled out and had to be put down immediately. She was ten years old, an abused dog I rescued after she spent a year in a local shelter. One little girl met her when she was six months old and loved her for over five years.

I called neighbors I could get to over the wall in 90 seconds and told them I couldn’t be at home, could I come see them. I got Mike on the phone and told him I’d lost my dog. He said “don’t worry, we’ll help you find her.” I said “No, she’s gone.” He met me outside with a glass of wine, called his wife home from work and they got me through the evening.

The next day I had to go into the park and meet everyone for condolences on the loss of our dear friend. Over forty people gave money to the city for a tree in our park and many came by for a special ceremony to water it. On the way home I ran into Jesse and James and friends. I told Jesse something was wrong and I needed to speak to him in private. We walked behind the bushes and I told him she was gone. At age 8, he had to know the details, which I provided. He cried, then dried his tears and I told him he could tell James I yelled at him for something.

These boys must be in college now. I seriously doubt they’d remember me. But I know Jesse remembers my dog. Since we have no children it was a pleasure to see these boys growing up. Yes, they told me about Google (“just Google it”) and I was on dial-up and hadn’t ever heard of it. As an advocate for public parks it was a joy to see these kids. They weren’t in their bedrooms on video games, they were out in a public park every day.

I had to explain the death to the mothers and children at the tot lot as well and many cried. For the five years my dog lived in that neighborhood, the kids yelled hello not to me, but to my dog. After her death, I was just me. Thank you Jesse, James, Annie, everyone for making my Velveteen Dog a real dog, and for allowing us watch you grow up. Ciao, Dee

Inspiration

I guess you can categorize me as an extrovert who is shy. I was so shy most of my life that I didn’t speak up for myself. I went along with things that didn’t really bother me because why fight? My parents never fought, they just divorced after 35 years.

The jobs were great, little pay and much responsibility. I didn’t get it, though. I got the brainiac parts of learning minutia and knowing your stuff, not really knowing why I was there. Forget my first job, the first real one I was paid as an analyst but expected to be a politician and hack and work for others for free. The second I was supposed to be a lobbyist but was a computer clerk, writer, public speaker and stooge for a wanna-be player. I didn’t “get” the politics of either.

After giving up the rat race I put myself through cooking school then looked for work. That in hand I looked for volunteer opportunities and ended up making Volunteer my middle name. I started small, at an animal shelter and ended up running 40 volunteers at annual event. Then I started my own division in a volunteer organization and was running 14 projects a month and attending at least five.

Texas Gal?

One of the first “graduates” of the joint Humane Society/Red Cross emergency courses, I found a mission. Yes, I was helping to spay/neuter thousands of feral cats but that was only cat and volunteer management. I needed to use my brain. I went to a seminar and it changed my life. I met a woman and we went to a meeting and things progressed from there. Of course as any movement goes, there are a lot of people at the beginning and few, years later, at the end. Not to say the mission is ended, it’s just been taken over by other local, younger folks.

The few are still friends with each other, and with me though I live far away. Two members came by last year for lunch. We all keep in touch. You ask what was our inspiration. It’s our dogs. They inspired us to try to find ways to share the public parks we pay for, in order for dog owners to be able to have leash-free activity. We didn’t know it would be such an incendiary topic and I never expected to spend years on it. I did learn more and always want to do more for our parks in every way so was asked to serve on a citywide body to endeavor to do that.

Casey, Hilde, Chani, and River are only a few of the dogs who have died awaiting a park that legally allowed them to chase a ball or disc off-leash with owner supervision. We’re still here. Our original inspiration is gone. I treasure the friends met and kept through this grueling process dictated by the Parks and the City. I’d like to say I live in a dog-friendlier city but one park is all mud (read “The Ditch” in PB) and another has yet to be tried. Meantime we walk the trails.

Our dogs started this, but it wouldn’t have continued without the people. We did not get along in deliberations but went into negotiations as a united front and made our case. Ask my team-mates but they probably won’t say I’m shy. The liberal nature of our friendships has allowed me to voice my opinions at the polls and in many other matters that occur from time to time. No more multi-year commitments, but all is well and I can thank my battling friends for that. You know who you are and of course your dogs love you, but I do, too. Cheers, Dee

Being Kids

Yes, in the winter we had to wear sweaters, hats, coats, gloves, boots, scarves et al but we didn’t really have to go anywhere, except to play in the snow.

VootSchtopps

As an adult, you have to go somewhere. The dog is wearing a winter coat and weather-proof paws (not exactly but that’s another story), and I have to put on a down coat and rain windbreaker and hat and gloves and boots before taking her out before it even gets light in the morning. It snowed last night. Yesterday ducks were flurrying all over, I’d like to think they were packing their bags and going south for a long winter.

We’re here with snow and slush and perhaps temperatures in the 50′s later in the week. It’s time to bring out the snow tires. Da da da (foreshadowing music). That means soups. Stews. Pasta with a rich meaty sauce. I may even learn duck ragu with pappardelle.

When I perfect ricotta ravioli with brown butter and sage, I can trust that you won’t tell Luca, from one of my favorite restaurants in Florence. But the boots, the dog towel as “mud room” and all the layers of coats and hats and gloves are confusing at best. Trying. As in they try my patience. Do you have snow in October??? Dee

Et tu, Brute?

Cynicism

Might an anger management class come in handy? I just read my last few posts. Tonight my husband asked me out to dinner and I agreed, but only after telling him that he had a haircut the other night, I cleaned Mr. Fish’s water, bathed the dog and got her nails trimmed today (washed and dried all the dog towels and my wet clothing) and I haven’t had my hair cut for six months because I always place myself at the end of the list. I never get to the end of the list. Ask my siblings about “Renew Passport.”

I showered and changed and we had a nice meal and I’m going to see our hairdresser next week for some “happy hair.” We have several tasks this weekend, some of the secret holiday variety for others, the one kind of shopping I enjoy. I’m a happy person, and once I clean out the frig will be happier.

A birthday is coming up, and I even offered to get my own gift, but think I’ll ask my husband to do it. It’s a three-part gift. First, he got me off Facebook because any shred of privacy they promise is a sham. Done. Now he has to delete a widget off this site because I don’t approve of their practices and will not let them dictate the percentage of food commentary this site provides. And then there’s a concert on my birthday by Juni Fisher, a cowgirl poet who will be performing in a nearby town. We’re thinking of having folks for BBQ afterwards.

Sounds like a weekend to me! Any good movies coming out? I can’t wait to hear Gwyneth Paltrow sing country. Wait, my husband’s parents need tix to that movie, I’ll bring a movie gift certificate along with spicy almonds and cashews to Thanksgiving. Cheers and thanks for reading and writing in. Dee

Poor Lindsay Lohan

Let’s stand outside Gelsons and sell cookies for her release from rehab/jail/whatever. But taxpayers have been paying to prevent her from herself for way too long. Preventing her from killing others in a DUI is one thing, but paying to keep her in jail to keep her from harming herself has gone too far.

If she weren’t a movie star she’d be behind bars permanently, because that’s where people who steal money for drugs et al go. I certainly hope she is paying for rehab, at least, and that she paid for all the controlled substances she’s used since a teenager.

We are a middle-income family living in a wealthy community. I don’t give in to the supermarket ambushes for team uniforms et al because these parents can easily write a check and it’s done. Why have your kid outside the grocery selling candy bars where the only entity that makes money is the marketer who buys candy bars at wholesale and triples the price to put your team’s logo on it?

Same with Ms. Lohan. Every day the news is about Afghanistan, the war, storms, fires and floods. People are affected by these events and moved by these stories. I’m sick of seeing Ms. Lohan at the top of the news every few months for breaking probation, DUI, whatever else she does. I’ll not carry a tin cup for you or urge the LA taxpayers to pick up the tab for your sorry life. No “cheers” tonight. Dee

Stuck in my Craw

This has been here for a while, luckily I’m not taking this airline for Thanksgiving……

October 21, 2010
Richard Anderson, CEO
Delta Airlines
1030 Delta Blvd.
Atlanta GA, 30320

Dear Mr. Anderson:
I was a resident of Houston TX where you were Prosecutor, for five years. I now live near one of your major hubs.
A few months ago my husband I went to his family’s home in Texas. We were not given seating assignments because we flew coach so we could only get seats at the gate. I sent a scathing email of our plight and was sent a $50 gift certificate for use on a future flight.
Last month my brother was trying to board a plane in the midwest and security was taking forever. The TSA agent said that Delta was vastly overbooking their flights and not assigning seats so that they would not have to accommodate their over-bookings by putting people on future flights or paying for hotels.
Delta uses our money weeks in advance for a ticket, doesn’t give a seat until one gets to the gate, and turns away many ticket holders or my brother paid $150 for an upgrade to first class because he needed to get to a meeting.
From my experience, TSA people don’t talk, but when the Federal government is mad at you for sending many times more people through security than you have a place for on the plane, that’s an issue I hope will be dealt with on many levels, at least I hope the locals, state and feds will be on it.
We got seats, last row of the plane. At the window I could reach over and touch the bathroom door. I had claustrophobia and nausea and that wasn’t worth the $50 certificate for future travel cost me. My time and wellness are worth much more than that. But money isn’t the issue, except your using our money to make money weeks before a trip then denying the trip.
Think about this. We plan for air travel and give you our money weeks in advance. You make us take care of pets and pack and drive to the airport and go through security, then you tell us we don’t have a seat and to drive home (or to a hotel we’ve checked out of) or pay extra to upgrade to first class.
Sir, I don’t believe you have a first class, because your company has no class. You use our money for weeks then deny boarding when we’ve gone through all that is needed in post 9/11 security. You should be ashamed. Fix this, please. This letter will be on my blog so it’ll get traffic and people will expect a response.
Hoping for a better experience, Dee

Heroines

This is outside of family to keep some sense of fairness. These are mainly women I admired as a young girl and who helped shape my life. There is no rhyme or reason to this, it’s just an exercise I urge you to try.

Eleanor Roosevelt, for her commitment to human rights
Rosa Parks, you know why
Isadora Duncan and Maria Tallchief, for dance and beauty
Margaret Mead “a small group of thoughtful people could change the world”
Betty Friedan and her cohorts, I sat Betty with my myscegenistic uncle on a 1 1/2 hour ride to the airport and he learned a few things
Florence Nightengale, the lady with the lamp
Jane Goodall, because we watched all her film strips when teachers were actually or mentally absent in class and she was the only female scientist I’d ever seen
Annie Oakley, I had a book about her and thought it was cool that she could shoot
Anne Frank, whose book I read at age eight and have not been the same since.

I thought of heroes, but chose heroines because they’re all but forgotten