I Don’t Know

`It’s a phrase one may never utter but as long as I now have light and glasses I’ll tell you why I believe it’s important.

Saying I don’t know does not make one impotent, it is merely a challenge to learn something new. I have the greatest luck to live a door away from a Swede who is coming over to teach me his meatball recipe with his old girlfriend who is visiting from the homeland.

I can say aloud that I do not know how to make his sweet, silky Swedish meatballs (Kottbullar, he brought me some frozen ones from Sweden) but he is willing to teach me something I do not know.

In turn, I will teach him real Texas chili. LBJ, actually his wife in 1962 with JFK and 5,000 on the Ranch at Pedernales. Texans call it perdenales. Texas chili has no beans. Here’s to good eatin’ Dee

Reconcliation

In the first 500 photos my brother sent me tonight there are a few I want to print and frame.

What bothers me is that I do not recognize my mother for at least two decades, and that may be due to being away at college and work or remembering her as a child. She always looked sad in the photos.

These photos show that she may have loved me for a short time, I’m the eldest. Her older sister used love to rein in her kids just a bit. It worked, very well, and our method did not. Aunt J loved her kids, all of us and her grandkids.

A year before my mother died of cancer, as did her older sister, she told me she hated me. She was taking the disease out on me, which should be OK, but she said I never should have been born, and that still hurts.

My husband and I spent a week at hospice with her and I even got her last rites, that’s another story. For now it’s good that in her first photo album online there are a few photos of me that were included, Thanks from your first born, Dad, Dee

Love at First Sight

https://plus.google.com/photos/117773044770484932023/albums/5404524266499405201/5404529705420047714?pid=5404529705420047714&oid=117773044770484932023&authkey=CPiNh6H0l_L_eQ

I just got photos tonight from the early days. I knew I always loved dogs and this will prove it. My father is holding me back as I reach out. I’ve never seen this photo before. It touches my heart as my father is holding me and protecting me and all I want to do is touch this dog.

This explains a lot of what I’ve done as a volunteer to help dogs and then cats, it makes sense. Cheers from Dee

Brothers

It’s now pouring rain here and the dog won’t want to go out to be involuntarily wet. Jumping into a swimming pool or great stream are voluntary efforts.

Lightning. That’s going to make Last Chance for dog Zoe interesting. I just got off the phone after a long conversation with my blood brother. We shared business and personal stories. I wish we could see him, he’s so smart and funny and I miss him.

My brother-in-law is also a brother who calls me more than my blood brother. He calls me “sis” and we talk about things as he drives. Another smart guy with a caring heart.

I think a lot of problems I had as a child would have been erased if I was not the eldest and had a big brother. We were in farm country and my sister and I used words, everyone else used intimidation or fists.

Now I’ve a dear husband, two brothers and I’ve the words to protect myself. Cheers, Dee

Customer “Service”

I’ve been on the phone trying to get my Yahoo popmail service back up for days. They answer the phone and tell you you’ll never get through because they may cut you off, then they do after five minutes. We pay for this service.

I’ve had Yahoo for many years and have never not met such a rude service. I had to get Gmail in order to email Yahoo.

Sick and twisted, I know. Yahoo, I’m going after the Board and Execs, trust me. You don’t treat Dee this way. Battle! Dee

Essential Pantry

is a series. Just look it up on my site. Each part of the series has recipes to go along. All you do is look up article #1. There’s more and it took me a lot of time to put this together.

Just start with essential pantry #2 and go from there. A thought. Thanks for reading. Dee

A Song

It’s tough to be away from each other for months. We get five minutes on the phone in the morning and ten in the evening simply because the hours are so different. My email is down so we had to get another service to get the first one to figure out the problem and it’s taken 12 hours on the phone. No results.

I had to join Gmail to get Yahoo to talk to me about the problem. Yahoo has a robot answer the phone and say there is a high call volume and if you’re disconnected call back. Five minutes of canned music and they disconnect. So I’ve spent the day on the phone and AT&T has been great but can’t do anything to even get tech support as the partner of Yahoo they only have access to the one Yahoo phone number that disconnects customers after waiting in line. In the end I’m going to end up with four internet services. That’s like having four electricians, four plumbers and in the end, four husbands. I think the latter is illegal.

My husband couldn’t even untangle this debacle last night and he’s a pro. ATT and Yahoo have merged services but they apparently don’t talk to each other. Hours online and on the phone and nothing has been resolved.

I do not have access to the pop mail or Yahoo mail I’ve had for years, my husband is on the same pop mail account and his is fine. He’s far away and I need my email pop account reactivated because being away is one thing, being unable to send information my husband needs is another. Was I hacked?

With the limited time we spend on the phone I wanted to sing him a song when he calls later tonight. It’s about love and commitment and I even took out the guitar and looked up the lyrics. I’ve played it badly twice and my fingers already hurt, lack of practice. Sorry PDX! Wish us well, as I do you, Dee

Lessons

Over my storied life, I have learned much from my family, school and music teachers, my husband and his family, my work at several venues and of course my dear professors.

There is nothing as educational or wisdom-producing as having responsibility for a life. No, we don’t have children, not our blessing. But I’ve been responsible for the lives of two cats and two dogs in my life over the years.

It’s like being a parent, you watch what goes in and what comes out. Sneezes as a little one and bumps as they age. You choose to adopt and take on a life and at the end, help ease them out of it.

Being responsible for a life teaches care above oneself, humility, joy, and as our Zoe would say ROUTINE. You have to go to the vet for shots, surgeries, even a first senior blood panel and keep your dog quarantined anywhere in the US under the British travel scheme permanently in case you’re sent overseas.

My first dog and cats passed after many happy years over 13 years ago. Now I’ve one old dog, nearly eleven years who we’ve had from six weeks of age. Five walks per day, perhaps six. Creating an indestructible toy. Baths and brushing and her herding us. Deciding to have her hips removed as a pup as she had severe hip dysplasia and going through two recoveries. Oh, she walks just fine and can run fast and corner because she had to grow her own hips from cartilage.

She doesn’t usually bark or whine, just stares until we do what she wants. If she’s over 70 in “dog years” perhaps that is what I should start to do. Just stare at my husband until he does what I want. Ah, well, it doesn’t work with people unless you want a horrible relationship. It does work for a herder, however. Patience is another virtue while caring for another life. It’s 5:00, time for dinner. It’s 5:02, you’re late. Get into the magic room and make my dinner, I don’t care if you’re writing about me on the blog. OK, I’m full, now I need to go for a walk. Stare.

She says “I killed a mouse today. I ate an old dead bird off the pavement and am going to vomit 48 hours later, in a safe place, your bed. Seven loads of laundry later you’ll still love me.” And we do.

Education is key. My first dog was abused for a year then in a shelter for the next. I was a volunteer and met her the first week and we were buddies but she was terrified of men, especially those in uniform, and kids. Even at this no-kill shelter there was word of another meeting to decide her fate. She was home with me the next morning. All it took was a home, love, care and training and she was the best rehabilitated dog in the world. Everyone loved her, and the kids would call out her name from the tot lot and run up to pet her and she adored them.

Did I hear the word sacrifice? No. It’s joy. For many years I was alone, not just single, alone. These were my companions and still are. Our dog Zoe follows me everywhere to make sure her pack is intact, especially as my husband has been off on a work assignment. Trust and loyalty are traits I admire from both me and Zoe. And my old dog’s ashes are in a teddy bear’s heart I move everywhere.

I do not hunt squirrels, however. Don’t worry, she’s on a 6′ leash and couldn’t get them even if she was off it, my dear hip-less wonderdog. Or bunnies. She doesn’t understand why they stay still until she’s 10′ away so they’re just interesting, not prey until they bolt. One thing is that I learn something new every day and that has always been my goal in life in all arenas. Cheers, Dee

 

With Your Hand

“I’ll walk in the rain by your side, I’ll cling to the warmth of your hand. I’ll do anything to help you understand I love you more than anybody can…”

Your hand took mine out of a lovely silver car 13 years ago. The song is by Peter, Paul and Mary of course. You never let go. We never let go.

Dearest husband and Zoe’s “dogfather,” we love you and hope to see you again soon. Dee

 

Wheat Grass

Years ago I tried an experiment to see what I could not eat. I went vegan for a few months and learned that I was allergic to tomato and pepper skins.

During that time I decided my cats should be healthier as well. I bought one wheatgrass plant in a 4″ container and they chewed on it all the time. I couldn’t eat or drink the stuff.

As the cats liked it I started growing it from seed every ten days. Then I placed a container outside my door. Days later all the dogs and cats in the neighborhood were coming to see me.

Pet owners asked me to stop, because their dogs were going potty all over the place because it is purging. Refuge of dogs with cheap food and bad diets. My past/passed dog never took to the raw stuff but the cats chewed on it from time to time and had no issues.

I’ve read that our DNA is very close to wheat. And bovines. Humans eat cereal and milk for breakfast. Was that just a Kellogg marketing ploy back in the day?

The downside is that I do not believe wheat has “feelings” dairy cows do when they can’t produce anymore as that’s called hamburger.

Years later I must cook meat and potatoes and vegetables for my husband, it could even be chicken but he’s allergic to fish. When he’s on a business trip I’ll start making fish, move to frozen pizza and then to yogurt and fruit.Then I await his return so I can start cooking again! Cheers, Dee